A God Who Can't be Caged
You always want what you can't have till it yours
you want it and once you gain it you want to change it
you lock it up,
you cage it,
from the wild
take away the mystery
make it "your own"
as if it was ever really yours to begin with
you say you want God till you realize He isn't under your control---
you can't tame Him
you want the ocean deep but only deep enough for you to walk in
you can't handle the waves, you don't want the floors you can't reach,
to find there is so much you'll never see of it on this side of eternity
you want controlled
you want watered-down
you want an easy pill to swallow
you want lukewarm
you want bordered
you want contained,
concise, precise, never risky, never larger than life,
the life that you know and only can understand in your limited heart and mind
you want what you can grasp, what you can gaslight into being all you think you need when it's really only what you want because if you looked at these things for as they were really meant to be you would see that they are already what you need
need to learn, to grow, to break and mend
to fall, to heal, and get back up again
you think God would be "better for you"
you think you would believe He is actually "for you" if He made things go your way
Make a plan, sign your name, ask God to co-sign, call it a day
that's what you want that's what you think you need
but have you ever thought that maybe the God you want and the God you need isn't actually the same thing?
maybe He is all that He says He is, maybe He really does see and know more than you and trying to just do what's very best for you as His kid
If you were standing on the edge of a cliff with a blindfold on, wouldn't you want someone who can see let you know? Or would you fuss & pout, go on kicking and screaming as you jump off the cliff and spiritually kill yourself?
I think we would all rather have someone let us know.
The truth is the God of the Bible is more than you can handle,
you can't grasp infinity when all you see in front of you is finite
you can't understand perfect love when all you got are sweet smidges of it that, while beautifully demonstrates God's love, earth-love doesn't even compare to it, it cannot touch the abounding, confounding love the Father has for you, it cannot be near a speck of the steadfast, relentless pursuit He has on you and your heart and life.
So tell me, why do you want a God that fits in your parameters? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? A God you can control and make sound and speak and think like your own mind does would just be you, wouldn't it? Is it really you that you've put on the throne?
Maybe it's time you de-throne you, throw you off the seat and let the true, sovereign King take the seat. He isn't shaken or undone by your mess or the stresses of this world. He remains even when the world fades away. He stays even when the most loyal of lovers runs the other way.
A God I could make my own would be nothing more that petting my ego, telling me it's okay to do whatever I wanna do day-today even if it's slowly killing me like a disease that eats my inside away. But this God, Yahweh? He goes out of His way to call ME His own, His little girl, His beloved, and He tells me that He is here to stay.
I can stray, I can run, I can fumble through drugs, sex, alcohol
I can waste my days wishing myself away, fill myself with self-righteous thoughts that tell me my mind is too big for this god you think is man-made, go on my pointless atheistic ways
I can accept God as all He is and all I don't fully understand Him to be
Perhaps, in fact, I can come to realize that this God, true God, cannot be put in a cage.
If the closest comparison I have to the depth of His love is the ocean, then there is so much I have yet to discover of Him. So I lay down my pride, rid myself of my earthly crown, and bow before the One Who is filled with raging love for me-- the God Who cannot be caged.