More Than Your Messes
Anyone else out there have a bad case of the butterfingers? You know, where everything you touch (or attempt to), simply glance at or even think about falls to pieces? Are you a master of disasters? Well, you are most certainly not alone, my friend. I will be the first to confess that I often reside in the chair of chief mess maker. It's not that I'm an intentionally messy person, truly, I keep my room pretty neat and my car doesn't have a closet and beauty salon in the back seat like most women my age. But you wanna talk about clumsy? Yep, that's me. I read somewhere that it's helpful to put your alarm clock on the opposite side of the bedroom from your bed so that it forces you to get up and turn the alarm off. Sounds like a good idea, right? Until I am starting my day off by literally falling out of the bed and scrambling to my feet to get to my phone so the blaring alarm doesn't wake up the neighbors. Lord, please not another clumsy day again...
It's usually at the worst moments that one of my clumsy incidents happens too. Majority of the time it's funny later. But there are some messes I have made, that we all make, that feel extremely hard to get back up from. Messes that hurt our reputation, leave us feeling ashamed, and, if we allow it, sometimes scar our hearts until we let it define us. I'm not talking about the teacup you shattered on the floor or the whole entire meal you dropped on your shirt (not that I'm speaking from a recent experience or anything...). I'm talking about the big messes. The ones that break relationships and causes distrust, the ones that leave us crying alone on the floor of the shower and causes our minds as well as our bodies to go into a physical depression. The messes that affect our character, that we allow to control who we think we are and what we are capable of doing.
Oh Child, please know... there is no mess so big that Grace is not greater still.
I have these succulents in mugs and pots on my windowsill. They are all different shapes, colors, and designs, all unique just like people and that's why I love them. Anyways, the biggest of the pots was happily sitting on my windowsill, soaking in the sunshine and minding its own beautiful business when I simply walked in the room, looked at it, and it fell to the ground, black soil and all. Seriously. It was like I had those cool superpowers where you move stuff using your eyes except I can't control it apparently. The whole thing was emptied out on the light-colored carpet of my bedroom. Immediately I was yelling "No, no no!!!" Honestly, I was more upset about my poor plant baby being ruined than the carpet at first but then I started thinking about how I live in an apartment and I don't think that the leasing agents would be too happy about my spill. Luckily, I was just being dramatic cause the carpet wasn't stained and I cleaned the mess up fairly well.
As I cupped the soil in my hands to return it to its potted home, thoughts of all the other little messes I made that day started to come to mind, everything I dropped so far that day, the mistakes I made at work that day, the things I forgot to do, that text I still need to respond to, etc. all came rushing to my mind "...You stupid, stupid girl, who is ever going to take you seriously? Can you do anything right?" That ugly, deceitful voice tried to creep in my head. "What? I haven't heard that voice in a while, why would you think that?" I kept thinking... and as I stopped my cleaning and quieted my mind and spirit to listen for the right voice, I heard and listened to the truth instead.
"Remember when you didn't know who you were? Those days when you made a mistake, a big mess standing before you, and you just wallowed in the lies that said those messes are who you are? You know those lies aren't true, they don't define you, but there are so many out there who don't know... there are people sitting with their broken pots and spilled soil in front of them with tears in their eyes, wondering if they will ever "get it right", calling themselves so many horrible things... It's time you tell them the truth. You know the truth, you have the power to speak it."
Thank you for Your voice of truth, God.
I've made a lot of messes in my life. Some messes were beyond my control and I tried to fix them creating an even bigger disaster. Others were simply failures I made, things I regretted for a long time until I realized I was forgiven. The messes use to be the defining factor of who I was and the kind of life I had. For a long time when people got close to me and wanted to know who I was, I would look to my messes and say, "well here's all my crap, here are my messes if you care to still stick around after finding out about them".
But that's not the way God sees us.
Your mess, your failure, no matter how big or small in the world eyes, could never trump the grace and mercy of God. Could never take over who God has already named you. Could never-- please hear me, precious One--- could NEVER be greater or bigger than the infinite, unconditional, never-ending, all-surpassing love of Father God.
You are so loved, Child. You are so forgiven. You are so WHO HE SAYS YOU ARE.
So next time someone wants to get to know you, please, stop looking to your messes to define you. When you look in the mirror and see beyond the surface, please, don't let the heartbreak, failures, disasters speak for who you are. Let your Creators' words of truth and love radiate from you. Yes, we overcome by the word of our testimonies, but we were never meant to live defined by our mistakes. Our messes are a reference from where Grace met us, not the ultimate destination. You are free. You are chosen. You are forgiven. You are loved. Tell that to the enemy who brings up your messes and while you're at it, tell the devil to take his lies of who he says you are to hell with him. Because you are so much more than your messes.
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."
1 Peter 2:9