In the midst of speaking truth, reading truth, and knowing truth, there is still that gnawing, annoying, relentless, lying voice that will creep in my head, telling me how "unfair" my situation is, how I "deserve better" than my current circumstances, how everyone else "has it easy". And I just wanna give that voice a good curb stomp.
Among all the excited social media posts, wedding and baby showers attended, "I just got engaged!" "I got that big job!" texts and phone calls, there is that stupid voice in my head with that little selfish phrase: must be nice.
It's sometimes easy to act excited and be happy for people. It's easy to show up physically but be all in your mind and feelings while attending these events that celebrate someone special in your life's new adventure ahead. It's easy to simply show up while rolling your eyes inside.
A couple of months back I was at a shower, I don't remember if it was a bridal shower or a baby shower or, hey, maybe it was just a bad dream I was having while in the shower, anyways... I was sitting there next to the person we were celebrating, handing them the next gift to open up, writing down the names of those who gave the gifts and what they gave so that the celebrated person could spend eternity writing thank you cards later on, and all the other shower assistant duties on the list when a well-meaning person pointed out that I was always the one taking the names and helping at the showers but never having this kind of celebration for myself... "When is it going to be your turn?!" They asked rather loudly during the quietest moment of the party, you know, that time when the music stops for an uncomfortably long time and no one is talking because they are shoveling finger-foods in their mouth? I quietly croaked out the words "...I don't know" with a fake smile then quickly went on with my duties, trying to push down the tsunami of tears welling up inside. I wanted to tell that person (who truly did not mean any harm, bless them) what they could shove their hurtful words and finger-foods up in but that didn't seem very WWJD worthy.
Am I the only one? You hear "we are getting married!", "we are pregnant!","we are beginning our own ministry in*insert hipster city of choice here*!", "I got into that amazing school!" and your mind automatically says "must be nice..." And you know what? It probably is nice for them. They probably are excited about this season God has for them, this miracle He has given them. It is probably nice that after whatever they've gone through/are going through and have experienced in their lives that you haven't seen/don't see, they finally have this victory, this answer to prayer. Or maybe there is a whole other side of the picture you don't see and never will see of how their celebration ends or simply doesn't ever begin, you don't see the bad parts, only the good things that you pout about not having for yourself.
If we are honest, we take it so personally. We take it personally when we see "everyone" receiving the promises God made to us when it just hasn't panned out for us yet. And then we begin to turn "not yet" into ifs and maybes. God's promises are yes and amen, always and true, genuine and real. God's promises are never what-ifs and maybes. We sing praises to God of His yes and amens, call Him the God of miracles who keeps His promises, praise Him for being who He says He is on Sundays but we curse at Him with our doubts and anger and unbelief most other moments of every other day of the week. Saying that because we haven't yet seen it, it will never be. Saying that since it hasn't happened in our timing He isn't gonna come through. Like somehow our perspective changes the nature of God, the goodness of Who He is.
Get real. Pshh... must be nice.
Y'all, let's shut up already.
Take it personally. Yes, take it personally that the God of ALL, the Creator of ALL, Perfection Himself chose to give YOU His VERY best-- which is, indeed, THE very best. Take it personally that He is making you wait for what He has spoken because all the options you would have chosen for yourself would have WRECKED you, and not in a good way. Take it personally that the CREATOR ALMIGHTY GOD wants YOU-- YOUR love, YOUR heart, YOUR affection, YOUR attention-- SO BAD that He is willing to look like the bad guy to you by making you wait for that promise in order to see Him, the Lover of your very soul, as BETTER and BIGGER and SO MUCH MORE satisfying than ANY promise received could EVER be.
Because that is the truth, friends. God is so much better. Even when you receive the things you prayed so hard for, it still isn't going to be enough... the only thing, the only One who could ever satisfy what you are truly wanting, what you are really looking for, what your soul desires is waiting right in front of you with arms wide open... and His name is Jesus. And here's the amazing thing, brothers and sisters, we don't have to wait any longer to receive this good promise.
So if you are fed up today with waiting... if you are so done and bone-tired of waiting for that one thing that will bring you to life, that will satisfy your need and hunger, that will make your heart overflow with love, that will make you feel and know you are loved, adored, cherished, and treasured, that will give you purpose and heart and a reason to live... look no further, for the King of all wants to give you that gift personally, if you will only accept Him.
I'm here to tell you today, friends, that it is nice. It is so nice to be loved without condition and to have my heart filled with something--someone-- this world could never satisfy. And the truth is, it could be nice for you too if you will only accept, receive, and believe in this Love right in front of you. A Love better than any promise.
"...despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39