Day 6: In the Seeking

I remember in middle school I went to this Christian youth convention every year with the youth group at church. Just like everyone else was up at the altar during the time of worship at the end of service, I was up there too. I would hear all these amazing things that God spoke to my friends, I would hear them crying at the altar, being restored by Jesus in that sweet place. And while I listened to what was going on around me, I felt hollow. I have always cried easily, but here at the altar I couldn't drop a single tear, I felt empty and confused as to why everyone else was hearing from God and I wasn't. So I would sit there and pray and pray for God to break me, to let me cry, to feel something, to let me hear Him, for something, for anything. I was so desperate to get just a little bit of what I saw everyone else getting.

I so desired what everyone else had spiritually that I wasn't truly grateful for what God was giving me, which was the opportunity to truly seek Him for myself. As I shifted my focus away from what everyone else was receiving, He focused me on continuing to seek Him, even when I heard nothing. After a long time of all this, I started to realize that somewhere along the way I was hearing God, just not in the way I expected, not the way I thought it would look like or sound like.

Fast-forward to now and many of those friends I sat at the altar with back then have run away from God and I have often found myself wondering how and why did those friends, who got to hear from God in those places at such a young age, end up leaving Him? And God spoke to me something that shifted the way I saw my relationship with Him.

It was in the seeking, in the hungry, thirsty, desperate place that God heard my hearts cry, He saw the deep desire to hear from Him and the perseverance of the prayers and hope and anticipation, and He blessed me. It was in the seeking...

And continuing to seek Him. What you seek, you will find. What you treasure, is what will permeate your heart. When we don't hear from God immediately on something we often start pointing our fingers back at Him, asking why He won't speak up, but what we must realize is that we are not God and God can speak when and how He plans to. God is beyond words, so much bigger than just words. But He still speaks, just for us. In His own perfect way, His own perfect timing. I didn't understand all that time of waiting to hear from Him until later when I saw that this built my faith up and drew me closer to God and deeper into His love.

Recently a few have asked me how I hear from God consistently, or they will say that I have some special gift for hearing from God. Well, I am here to say this: it is not me at all or anything special or different about me. I have the same access to God as you and every single person in the universe has.

We all have the same access to God, to hearing from Him, and being

with Him.

We all have this incredible gift God blessed us with to hear Him speak. For those who are seeking, you will hear, and it may not be that audible voice everyone expects to hear, it may be that quiet voice deep in your spirit. So keep seeking. You can't hear from someone you mute in your life, someone you don't spend time with and seek to hear. He is there waiting for you to invite Him in, for you to seek Him, so He can come in and speak His truth, love, promises, and plans into your heart and soul.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6

"Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near."

Isaiah 55:6

"The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God." Psalm 14:2

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always."

1 Chronicles 16:11

"From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us." Acts 17:26-27

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Cami